nice guy doesn’t even care that i’m a lesbian!

It's an interesting hobby, though, isn't it? It's so hard to get people to explain what the believe if you don't challenge it first. You're absolutely right that people must be allowed to determine for themselves who they are and aren't attracted to.

I just think the English language has really run out of room in the discussion of gender and sexuality, as we begin to realize the traditional dichotomy the West has put on a pedestal cannot be supported any longer. Words like lesbian and bisexual were adequate until people realized how conflated gender and sex had become, and in the early 1900s we accepted pansexual as a new label to be more inclusive.

But I do honestly think it would be more useful if we redefined our terms to separate gender identity and sexuality to be more inclusive up front. This curiosity really stems from language, you see, and how it is used and often abused by people who argue in bad faith. I believe that the LGBT movement has been hamstrung by vocabulary, using words inconsistently and interchangeably, which opens them up to attack by their adversaries who like to praise themselves for their "logical consistency." Conversations like this reveal to me how vast the vacuum between understanding parties has grown.

The two of us agree that people have the right to define who they are and who they're attracted to. We agree that trans people are whatever they know they are, and should have the right and comfort to live as their true selves. But if I point to sexuality using words from its definition, it's read as an attack. It's fascinating to me.

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