The Midnight Toker
Just so happens this story involves some actual midnight toking. Couple years ago, I'm living with my old roommate and he and I would partake in herbal relaxation methods after long days at work. I had just picked up this new strain from my buddy called Headband. Was supposed to make you feel like you were wearing a headband, hence the name.
It's a Friday, it was a long week at work, and I had just gotten in my usual night of HUT in since I had nothing else going on that night. My roommate comes downstairs from his room after getting a whiff of what I brought home and asks to join. He wasn't as much of a frequent smoker as I had been, and I was told this stuff had a solid kick to it, so I told him to take it easy.
We take care of what I had packed, settle in and proceed to just hang and watch tv. Ten minutes after we put the piece down, he starts complaining about how hot he's getting. He starts freaking out, "My face is melting dude! My face! It's melting!!! It's too hot why is it so hot?!" He could obviously feel a lot more than just the "headband" effect. Another 10-15 minutes pass. He stands up, still complaining about his melted face and how hot it is and walks upstairs to his bathroom.
Another 10 minutes pass and I'm sitting there thinking he had a weird reaction and got a little sick. Opens the door, comes back down (laughing as he walks down the stairs) and to my high ass' delight, he had used his clippers and gave himself an incredibly short buzz cut. To make it worse, he's sunburnt as F from his day at work having forgotten sunscreen so his face is beet red and his hairline is pale as shit so it looks like he's wearing a swimming cap since his buzz was so damn short. I'm dead. Can't handle it, and it's easily the most I've ever laughed. He doesn't give a single fuck and it's glorious.
So the next best option is to pack another bowl before calling it quits. He's still complaining about being too hot, so he gets up again and says he's going for a walk to cool off. Ends up going to the 24 hr Kroger we had a few blocks from our apartment. He walks right in, grabs a spoon from the kitchen and sits back down with three pints of ice cream.
Wrapping this up, I swear those pints lasted all but 30 minutes with the serious case of munchies and heat issues he was having. I just sat there in awe watching him devour this ice cream (while also jealous he didn't pick up one for me). Once he finished, I had to ask him why he needed to get three pints and eat them all at once.
"They were three for five. Why wouldn't I eat them all? I didn't want them to melt like my face."