Oh my goodness I hope you can resist the urge to rack your brain over what this person wants from you.

I used to get this way, when my mother would freak out about something I would feel devastated and try desperately to figure out what I did wrong, how I could have done it better. Ruminating over the smallest details because they are so easily upset. Normal people do not do this and they certainly don't attack others in this way. This is the narcissistic fog many of us live under.

Once I realized my narc is mentally unwell and none of this is my fault my agency returned. Unless you are under the age of 18 there is no longer a power dynamic. You are free to assert your own person as you see fit and by doing so you regain your identity outside of them.

It's cutting the umbilical chord of control they are constantly strangling us with.