Hey there, I just want to say that I completely empathize with your situation and understand what you are going through. Seems like a good choice you have made re: keeping your boundaries with your bf and nMom. It seems like she understands that his love makes you feel valued which in turn threatens her ideal role for you to exist to serve her needs. I went through a very similar experience this past Xmas and have also been keeping a healthy separation with my husband and family. We were staying with them for several days and at one point, my husband went upstairs to rest for half an hour while the family was playing a game. My mother shouted “you can’t do that, that’s how you get booted out of this family, just like her ex was!” after him and pouted for 20 minutes about it. She has always been extremely critical of all my relationships in the past. It’s really good that you have a healthy and supportive partner and that you aren’t letting yourself be bullied into submission where she would like you to be so that she can control you. Stay strong OP, you got this.