Yo i don’t want to stick my finger up your ass

So doctor, just because you don't want to stick your finger, you won't do an annual rectal exam? Why did you become a doctor? Because your mother wanted you to be either a doctor or a lawyer?

comparing a DRE to colonoscopy is asinine

Well, you are calling a Utah DO from Beaver asinine. Because instead of a DRE that was recommended to me by another physician, he wanted me to do a colonoscopy.

but yeah, not going to do it

You'll fit right into Utah! Are you also Mormon or raised Mormon by any chance? There are people need a FIT or FOBT every year. Just because you don't want to do it, will you be sending them for a colonoscopy?

you can feel only the back of the prostate

I am more than aware of this. As a doctor, do you know that more people die with prostate cancer rather than of postate cancer? The PSA is unnecessary in most cases. But an annual prostate exam is a must for many individuals.

although you do ALSO need a mammogram

So will you be sending 15 year old girls to get mammograms every year? How did you even become a doctor? Oh, I know. You got an 18 on your MCAT but your Mormon mission got you into medical school, thanks to a stake president who knew one of the medical school professors. Or did your rich parents pay for a Caribbean MD where they don't care for your grades and the MCAT is optional?

I don’t really ever want to see patients nude

Like I said you'll fit right in with the other doctors in Mormonland!