It's been eleven years for me since I've been able to make a consistent platonic friend. Girlfriends or hookups? Sure. But any serious relationship I've had, she would isolate me. Anything casual usually ends fairly quickly when they realize how antisocial and off-putting my personality is. The closest thing I have to friends are workers that I see so often on my daily and weekly routines that we make pleasant chatter but I feel that it's so unethical to try to engage with someone who is working in personal conversation or a social invitation that I'm paralyzed with fear and unable to connect with anybody. I think I'm doomed. I'm planning on suffocating myself with helium in a storage container soon when I get my affairs in order