You know, I found my best friend I ever had, just under two months ago. He hung himself, none of us saw the signs, or at least took them seriously.
He had been there for a day when I found him and that harrowing image will haunt every waking moment, for the rest of my life. Sure, there are options. There is the ultimate choice. I know all about chemical imbalances. Poor fucker. I'm sorry man, I have no real advice to offer you, otherwise I guess I would have given it to him.
All I would advise, is to think about it rationally and sober, for a long while. Because if my boy had seen how many people turned up at his funeral, and if he had seen how missed he was. If he could see that by taking that choice, he killed both of us. He killed his brother, he killed his best friends.
We are the walking dead now and life has really become a coping strategy. We are all in this together. I don't know what the Fuck life is. I know it can be proper balls-deep shit at the best of times. But surely those rare fleeting glimpses of happiness are worth it. Even if it is a glimpse of an unattainable Nirvana.
Surely the dream and the camaraderie is worth it. Running over the hill together, surely is sweeter than leaving those behind to reel and slowly wither, like a young calf without a mother.
By taking that choice, you aren't only ending your life, trust me. You are taking other's with you. A patch of soul from everyone you've ever connected with. Your family, friends, the person that finds you, the hospital workers, the vicar, the old friend you grew up with and never spoke to again, your friend's parents who really liked you, that guy or girl that fancied the pants of you, but was always to shy to say it, any ex-partners, people who you encounter on a daily basis and think nothing of. The heartache left behind is an unquenchable fire of devastation. I hope the very best for you, and I hope you reconsider. Rely on the fire inside...
Better times will come and if they don't, at least we are all in this together, till the bitter, cold unrelenting end. Fuck suicide... Strive on.