Piss soaked bed isn't moldy, we have those waterproof things you put on it so there's no mold but she's incontinent AND refusing to go change her diapers often - I guarantee you some of that stuff is soaked in, no way it isn't. But there's literally no way to avoid this fate short of buying a new bed every day. Bed is "ok" and if you didn't know you probably wouldn't notice except for the smell (although that might be old diapers idk) but I know. And it bothers me A LOT.
It's not fine in the sense most people wouldn't live like that (I think?) but it's fine as in not a biohazard and probably the best you can hope for with someone who often refuses to take a shower or change their clothes, spits out food everywhere, leaves boogers/whatever else everywhere. Idk how to explain that but this room is just so gross to me and while my disgust is out of proportion I know that it's not entirely in my head either. Then there are all the sticky porridge bowls and pots everywhere in the kitchen... Those drive me crazy too because I refuse to clean it and mum will do it only after a day or so.
I'm sorry if it comes off dramatic and I didn't state that enough but a lot of this is absolutely a me problem. It just bothers me endlessly, to the point of showering if I'm in that room, feeling like everything there is tainted etc. none of that is appropriate response and I might have gone insane already but it is what it is for me...
"and it's just a "you" problem, I hope you can sort it out and know you're not helpless"
As long as she's here or I'm here nothing about that can be sorted out. It's just a matter of one of us outlasting the other I guess