Your experiences sound sadly ... familiar (not physically violent as much as emotionally violent, in my case) ... I also promised myself the same but I have a pretty well-founded fear that I don't know how to healthily raise a male (I have a "ton" of sisters, I am the oldest child) as I saw how a female could be raised successfully but not a male, objectively and subjectively ... in turn I don't think it is ethical for me to procreate.

I know all the things to do but I am pretty sure my selfishness is what my dad's problem was as well, he knew what to do but his own wants were more important, his own depression more important, his own perceived failures blinded him to the ones he was potentially causing, he wasn't ready to be a father.

I find myself, almost daily, learning something new about myself and makes me realize even when I think I am ready, I find I am clearly not.

Where I do have a bit of contention with your advice is regarding the "smile of an innocent child" comment. I'm sure my dad felt this as you describe, but it by no means indicates someone is prepared for when parenting becomes real work and I believe this is where the real problems manifest.

It doesn't take much to procreate and if the long term consequences of one's personality impacting the product of procreation are not considered, issues will manifest and probabilistically fall more often on the "wrong" end of the bell curve.