Hah! Sounds like you were writing about one of mine and I had to reread it lol! My advice is actually advice I have received here previously and it has become fruitful in my house: remind her who’s house you are in. Remind her that at this house, we ____, whatever it is you need from her. I’ve sometimes had to upgrade from asking to something like, “As your adult, I could just TELL you to XYZ, but I’d rather have a home where we ask and are helpful to our family members.” And also, I’m finding out on my own that if I draw a line and just say no to something, that if you leave it at no without further discussion it can fizzle. If I say no drinks after 8 and I’m asked why, I just say well that’s daddy’s house rules. And leave it there. Sometimes I’ve found that all that extra business, explaining why or justifying, sometimes it turns into questioning and doubting my motives. And as a SM where the BM is already trying to teach them to dislike me, I don’t need a 7+5 doubting me over daddy’s rules.