Is it normal?

I know that feeling. You are looking for an identity which is different than what you have seen in your family. You wish to have a happy relationship with them too. But around them you become someone that you don't want to be again. I have had similar issues. I also see many people have a cordial relationship with their parents . I only wish that could be true for me. And yes it does affect the kind of relationships you will seek too. It may not last long initially because although you inherently want to have a happy staying relationship ,since you have not been able to feel how it feels , or since you have had a desire to disappear many times from difficult parents, and make a new social identity since a long time, it has now become your practice. So you might find it difficult to feel okay with a new relationship too. Since you have your independence now , just continue with it. Don't regret anything . Taking care of someone is not always about being around them. By the time they will need 24/7 care ,you will think of something. But now focus on building your career and social circle. Meet people who you think are like minded. Fall in love . Try practicing trust and give people the benefit of doubt. Don't fear getting hurt . And most importantly don't keep thinking about difficult parents all the time. Don't bring past in to your present . From now on be responsible for every mistake you make , every action you take. Practice and learn deeper aspects of relationships. Imagine who you want to be , and how you want to groom your personality and work ok it. Love yourself and slowly try to forgive your parents in your heart. Your target is to achieve peace and happiness in the end. And you have a lot of time . Use it for personal development. Replace your past scars with new memories .

/r/india Thread