It's okay for you to feel however you do about sex. It's very important to feel safe and secure in sexual relationships, there is an inherent level of vulnerability in them, and its unfair for anyone to tell you you should feel differently about your needs in one. That's an important boundary.

As for normal, I don't think either of your positions are abnormal, but they are different and incompatible. I think you did the right thing for you.

In terms of her religion, I've noticed people do a lot of things that aren't completely compatible with their religion, people do alot of cherry picking, even in terms of living as a modern woman within the constructs of Christianity (one reason I'd never be involved with Christianity or organised religion fullstop, I would not want to be hypocritical and I have a hard time joining things that don't totally align with my beliefs which is somewhat inevitable on some level in organised religion). It's fairly common but I totally understand your discomfort with it.