but it’s become like this secret thing I do

DING DING DING! WARNING! WARNING!

Secret drinking is a major sign of trouble ahead. Even if it is "harmless" at the moment, what it does is create the idea in your mind that secret drinking is a thing you can do now.

What's to stop you from secret drinking in other circumstances for example? You might think that won't come up...but if you keep drinking like you are now, it definitely will. There will be a day when you drank a little bit too much the night before (just to get to sleep of course) and now shit, wouldn't it be nice to just have a little nip of something at 1pm after hours of hangover and anxiety?

No one has to know....