I'm AMAB. I'm afraid of changing my gender because it's not as easy as in western countries. If I go for that, I have to face a lot of discrimination. This is the main thing I'm worrying about. I meant it's not worth going through all the risks if it's not the correct path for me. ( I meant transition because I'm still questioning.)

For the button thing, Idk what will I do. It's like 50/50. But if there is a button to turn me into a woman I definitely press it without second thoughts.

When I was like 12 or 13 years old I tried crossdressing secretly. And I tried different things to turn me into a girl like wishing also doing some stupid things thinking this will turn me into a girl likewise. And again I tried crossdressing when I was like 16 years old. Even though I look ugly I felt satisfied. Most of the time thought of wanting to be a girl is inside my mind. And I always saw something incorrect when I look at myself in the mirror. Like I'm ugly, I have a big nose, I have a big head like that. But at the same time when someone says I'm handsome I feel happy too. Idk really what's going on with me. I have OCD I know that because of behaviors like abnormal hand washing etc. Gender therapy is not an option in my country only psychiatrists and psychologists are available. I'm currently diagnosing under the supervision of a psychiatrist. I think she is diagnosing me with trans-OCD.