is it normal for the withdrawn triad to pull back from people close to them?

Thanks. Ok so, if I’m getting the gist of your response, you’re basically saying that you don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ by bringing attention to your own needs. This is typical of most 9s as they feel that there is a difference between their comfort, and other peoples comfort. The challenge is in trying not to make that distinction. If one party is uncomfortable, then the equilibrium of the whole environment is disturbed.

9s are like environmental barometers which measure the peace in both their inner and outer atmosphere. They’re learning to keep both in balance with one another, because if one is out of balance it affects the other. What 9s often don’t realize, is that when they neglect their needs for the sake of making other people feel comfortable, they become disturbed, and unable to respond effectively to their environment. This then creates conflict when others demand a response from the 9, because the 9 has abandoned their responsibility to themselves and thus feels un-equipped to handle anything.

So it is actually in the best interest of the 9, and everyone concerned, if the 9 takes their needs to be equally important as everyone elses. In this way, rather than abandoning their position, they consider how to mediate between their needs, and the needs of others. Thus they become extremely diligent peacemakers and mediators who are capable of knowing what needs to be done in any situation in order to bring equilibrium to the whole.

Does this make sense?

/r/Enneagram Thread Parent