I think one of the big problems is that grad students tend to be compliant and approval-seeking. So, when faculty say complete bullshit that they probably don't expect you to really believe, a lot of grad students take it completely literally. I'm talking about all the little throwaway things that faculty say grad students should do. Go to this colloquium. Make a poster. Present at this mini-conference. Sit in on this seminar. Take this awful course you have no interest in. Take these extra courses you don't really need. Take this online certification. Run this exploratory analysis. Read these two dozen papers for no real reason. Blah blah blah blah blah. They're just saying these things without seriously believing anybody will do all of it. Because it's fucking impossible.

I went to grad school to read good shit, get better at writing, learn the norms of my discipline(s), and get the credentials to chill the fuck out in a faculty position, teaching and writing and hiding out in my office until my bad habits kill me. I don't ultimately give two shits about being "accomplished" or "highly regarded". Those things would be great, but I've got better things to do, people to hang out with, booze to drink, roadtrips to take, like a dozen hobbies that I'm shit at but enjoy, and a nearly infinite list of books I want to read, none of them scholarly monographs or edited collections.

It may sound like I don't take the process seriously. I absolutely do. But it's a fucking game, just like every other thing that happens in institutions. It's all made up, and it's all arbitrary. The goal is not to win by the rules but to survive the hazing with as much of your soul in tact as possible. And that usually means mostly not giving a fuck. Cutting remark from a professor? I don't give a fuck. Professor shat all over your paper? Don't give a fuck. Faux pas in front of committee? Still don't give a fuck.

There's only two rules: 1. Don't quit. 2. Don't give a fuck.

Number 2 gets easier when you realize it's all made up and that all you really have to do is number 1.