Yep! I have some of those experiences, but not others. My mom is the type who will scream at me for leaving one fork in the sink, or leaving trash in the trash can over night (she wants her trash cans to be immaculate too, wtf?). But she was also my "best friend" and bought me alcohol, cigarettes, was cool with me hanging out with creepy men twice my age, didn't care about my grades, etc. And a lot of people here automatically assume she's not a narcissist because their parent didn't approve of alcohol and cared about their grades. Like, no? A mother is supposed to be against her child using mind-altering and/or unhealthy substances? A mother is supposed to care about her child's grades?

But both of our mothers were garbage narcissists, even though their personal opinions were different. So are the mothers of people who were expected to never drink and have perfect grades. I'm very tired of this subreddit assuming that just because their narcissist was a dickhead about a specific thing, it means all "real" narcissists are too.