It sounds like people are taking your kindness for granted. It may be because you're too helpful! Try to set boundaries for yourself, like when you want to help out, just say "want me to take care of this, this time? You can do it next time!" Don't just try to do things and let yourself be taken for granted. People will subconsciously expect you to do things that you take initiative on and will easily take advantage of you, even if it's not their intent. I admit that I did this to my S/O at times and there was times where they've done it to me. It's good to set some ground rules and there's nothing wrong with designating.

Personally, we solved this with one simple rule; whoever cooks, doesn't have to clean! The other one does that. We don't have any real rules for general cleaning, but we're pretty good about sharing the burden with eachother, which took some time. There were times when it was unfair for both of us. Talking about it is really the key here. Communication is everything.

In your case though, there are certainly some red flags. I have friends who pay people to clean and I can tell you they are not fun people to be around in RL. They have long lists of bad habits, are generally lazy and have extremely bad money management as well even when they make good money. Pissing on the floor and/or seat is just straight up gross. That would be a deal breaker for me, even if they acknowledged it. That sounds like some seriously long lasting childish behavior that you'll be spending your entire life to fix. Good luck with that...