Hi I guess I'll give some advice from a female pov. Personally, as long as you're taller than me even when I have heels on, I'm more than okay with it. But I don't think the issue really is your height from what I'm reading, it's the bitterness you hold from your childhood, which you're more than entitled to, but bottling up issues from the past really shows. And yes, attractiveness matters, but at the end of the day personality and character matter so much more than you think, especially the way you carry yourself. So I think you should focus and work on your confidence. Believe me, women love confident men, and I know there is a lot that you're angry about, but you need to begin to slowly let go of the past and focus on the future, I mean you have a great job and you're doing so well!