The reason I asked is because I am intrigued by the program but don't know enough about the actual 'process'.

With that said, I will share this. I did it the 12-step way and although I am NOT saying it's better but one thing I 'suspect' is you may be making amends too soon.

See... I didn't do my 8-9th until I had.... oh... probably a year of sobriety. This is not to say one has to wait a year, but honestly, it took me that long to do the footwork that was needed BEFORE amends could be attempted.

My mom for example ... Yikes. You know... she asked me EVERY FLIPPING TIME I talked to her for 6 YEARS if I 'was behaving'. 6 YEARS! I didn't mind. I had a decade of hurt, disappointment and neglect to counter. Somewhere about 6 1/2 years, she finally relaxed and believed I was doing ok. AND THAT was all she wanted anyway.

So maybe give yourself a break for now. And worry about amends when you are solid enough to really demonstrate that you aren't just apologizing but embracing a healthy productive life. Typically that requires time and 'proof' ,, and that only comes with 'time.'

Final note - don't worry too much about the person that acted poorly. Really. Don't.

If it really important to you - wait a while (like a year +). Then write a letter. Make sure someone else reads the letter before you send it so you don't make it 'all about you.' (another thing my sponsor did for me.)

I am still making living amends. It's a lifetime process and honestly, that you WANT to do it is good. ♥♥♥ I am sorry the one guy was a jerk but I suspect there are others in your life that are dancing with joy that you are making the effort to be kind, loving, cognitive and remorseful today.