basically its your choice now,not somebody elses.

It's both a blessing and a curse. I love being more in control but you also don't know the repercussions of each choice you make if you've never made them before. That's definitely one of the hardest learning curves I've noticed.

My mom passed when I was 16, and I've more or less tried to grow up without the kind of guidance (or hand holding) she gave me as a kid/young teen. I have other family of course that can help, and they do, but I'm also the kind of person who feels like they burden others when asking for help.

I commend you. I don't think anyone will say learning to grow up isn't difficult but it's one thing to take care of yourself and your own responsibilities. Having a little one to care for as well accelerates the process and increases the difficulty by tenfold I would imagine, especially at such a young age.