It's not slut shaming to be honest about how you lose attraction to a woman upon knowing she's had a lot of sexual partners.

I usually say "I'm just not comfortable with your sexual past. I don't think of you as a lesser person for it, it's just that it would be hard for me to accept that there are so many men who have been intimate with my girlfriend, and I don't want to deal with this".

Another variation of the part in bold that I sometimes use is "intimacy is important to me in a relationship because it makes me feel like I'm special to my partner, unfortunately because of your history I don't think I would feel that way with you".

Nobody ever got offended when I said that. I think it's because I emphasize that I don't think poorly of them as a person, and I make it about my feelings ("it's hard for me to accept"/"I wouldn't feel special") rather than their status.

Now the secret I don't let them on? I actually think intimacy is important, and I think people who open their intimacy too easily to others have very low self-respect (men or women alike). I actually do have a low opinion of them due to their sexual history. But there's no need saying this when I'm asked, it would just cause unnecessary offense.

Am I a hypocrite or do I hold others to high standards than I hold myself? Hell no. My sexual partners have always been serious relationships - good people that I could trust and I cared about, and I can count all my partners on one hand. The argument that "I was young and I wanted to have fun/experiment doesn't work on me - I was young too, I had opportunities to experiment, and I passed them up willingly because I respected myself too much to be intimate with someone who wasn't worthy of me. I didn't do porn or any sex work. And I thought ahead and realized that one day I'd be with someone I deeply cared about, and I wanted to be able to give her something special - I didn't cheapen it by sleeping around with dumb bitches who just wanted a dick to get off.

/r/MensRights Thread