*notices bulge*

Well, I mean, I've been married for a while so it's a non-issue for me. It really, deeply saddens me though - I mean maybe I'm over-analyzing it, and I'm probably way off topic - but seems to go back to the whole incel and "niceguy" shit. I know it sounds like a cliche, but where are these kids' parents?

Based on your username, I'll assume you're a woman. So when a boy reaches early puberty there's this time where things are really really confusing. Girls have always been these flower-loving, tree climbing, somewhat more-fragile, non-boys. But when those hormones kick in, they are suddenly something different, and early on it's really confusing. I'm sure the process is similar for girls. But as a boy in modern society, you kinda assume that you're supposed to make the first move. The problem is, you have no idea what girls actually find attractive. You could do some research, I suppose, but inevitably all advice is somehow wrong, or not specific enough, or too specific, or useless in some other way. So you kinda have to wing it.

I remember when I was but a wee lad, I powered up Windows 98, connected to the 56K modem and did a Lycos search for "pick up lines". I then printed the pickup lines out on my dot-matrix printer and put them in my pocket for later use. They were pretty gross and raunchy - most of them I didn't understand - but I didn't know what girls were in to, and if those pickup lines would help get a girl to "like" me (like the website claimed), then I figured that they must like that kind of crap.

Well, I forgot I had that in my pocket and when my mom did my laundry, she found it. A very uncomfortable conversation followed in which my mom (bless her soul) basically said "No, this is not how you attract girls, and any girl who would actually be attracted by this filth, is not going to be attracted to you" (I was pretty shy and quiet). She then told me that girls just wanted to be treated like human beings, that I should just 'be myself', and all of that good and cringe-worthy stuff. Like I said, it was really uncomfortable for me.

But, man, how essential that conversation was! I finally had some insight into the whole thing. My dad gave me similar advice about how to ask a girl to a dance, look a girl in the eyes when talking to her (but not too long or she'll think you're a creep), be confident but not arrogant, hold open the door, pull out the chair, etc. And, of course, the subtext was always "you do these things because this is how a man treats a woman" not "do these things and you might get laid". And when girls rejected me (which they did was discouraging regularity) my dad would just shrug and say something like, "Well better that you know that you're incompatible now than four months down the road."

Anyways, I know that's long-winded but in regards to all these creepy-ass dudes, like why didn't anyone sit them down and tell them "Looking like a cat and talking like a toddler is not exactly the best way to attract women"? Oh shit, and for the "nice guys" someone really needs to say "Dude, acting like sex is owed to you, and making jokes about rape...literally the worst f*cking way to get a girl's attention." And then there's incels, which I just don't even know how to process.

As a father, who has a daughter, I am saddened and discouraged by the difficulty that I foresee for her to have a healthy relationship with a man who actually respects and cares for her, and whom she can respect and care for in return.

/r/creepyasterisks Thread Parent Link - i.redd.it