Now that you're grown up, what did your parents do that you now realize was bad parenting?

Some of these are things I've heard from my parents, rather than what I've noticed. Others might be inaccurate, due to the nature of how memories can warp. In order of age.

For context, I'm 22, jobless, and live at home with no actual drive to accomplish anything, despite even my own wants to anything. I would blame a lot of my current situation on them, but blame doesn't solve problems.

  • While infant and before I can remember; proudly ignored my crying. Basically taught me from a young age that 'nobody would listen to me'.

  • Would lie to me about what they had promised me. From toys to being allowed to do something I had asked a day before. Of course, I knew at the time that this was completely 'not cool'.

  • On the topic of lying, they taught me that telling the truth would only get me in more trouble, and that sticking to a lie was the best course of action to avoid punishment. "Did you throw that rock at my car?" "Yes." Cue punishment and the only lesson learned was to not say 'Yes' next time.

  • Sheltered me. Not sure what the reasoning was or if it was intended, but I only ever had social interacting with kids at school. Outside of school, I was typically alone, and an only child at that. I never really developed face-to-face social skills.

  • Found porn magazines in the bathroom; pretty sure that's messed me up a couple ways that I'm not entirely aware of.

  • While a teenager, my father and mother were split up, and my father had a side-chick during this time. I was sent to live with him and her. During my time there, my father's only idea for a punishment was to belt me if I did something 'wrong'. 4:30AM; on a school day, being forced to wash dishes because I didn't do them last night and dared to be the least bit snarky about it due to being woken up early and forced to clean? Belt. Had an opinion that disagreed with his? Belt. At the time, I just thought I was a shitty kid and all parents were like this. My brother proved this wrong, as my parents have moved back together and do not ever punish my brother physically.

There's probably more I could go on about, but I don't feel like pulling them all up. I could even go into my grandparents. No one in my family knew how to raise a child into an adult.

/r/AskReddit Thread