TL/DR Former Nco-leader is mean and nasty to me in front of everyone, and emom who witnesses most of it cuts me out when I stop being a doormat and remains friends with Nco-leader!

My former troop co-leader is like this! One of the other moms (emom) who I was rather close with was always around and helping with this or that for our girls, and my co-leader would a HUGE N (it took me a while to see it because her niece was her SG up until she moved away and I became the SG), once we were talking about the end of year party, and she had said something about needing to get her house cleaned up fast after it (we met at her house because she had a craft room where the girls could make a mess and it wouldn't matter)so I suggested we not make it a pool party like we normally do, and she readily agreed so that we could have our bridging, eat and leave and she wouldn't have a huge mess to clean up for her family coming the next day. Well I sent out the email to all of the girls saying not to bring swimsuits we were not going to be swimming. No sooner than I had sent the email Nco-leader calls and starts just laying into me about why would I tell people that, she NEVER said no swimming etc (we all know how Ns are) and of course I am understandably upset so I call emom and ask her about it because she was there for the conversation. I am crying at this point, just sobbing on the phone as she starts telling me "she doesn't want to get into it" and she "wasn't part of that conversation" etc. I just wanted someone to back me up as to what Nco-leader had said. (It was soon after that I started recording all of our meetings and interactions so she couldn't do that to me again.)

Later that summer we got together to prepare some stuff for one of our first meetings of the year preparing something that required Nco-leader's husband to use his tools to cut some wood out. I had enough items for the moms that regularly go with us to events to make one for themselves as well, and I had already asked Nco-leader if it was alright to ask her husband to cut some extra for them, and was told it was no problem. Well fast forward to the day of and suddenly it's a HUGE deal, because why should she ask HER husband to use HIS time and tools to make things for those other women who can have THEIR husbands do it for them! She's just yelling and berating me in front of emom and I just froze and shut down (because narcs do that to me) I can't say anything as she just keeps on and on and starts berating me for my none answers, saying I'm completely dumbfounded that it might be a problem, when I am finally able to say that we had already talked about it and she had said it wasn't and issue. So goes off again with "I would never say that," then finally yells that she will go ask if HER husband would mind cutting EVEN MORE items out, and stomps off!. I look over at emom, and she just shrugs at me like it's no big deal! At this point I wasn't recording things just yet, this was the event that precipitated that, but I had been making sure that SOMEONE else was around to hear what she was saying and I KNOW that emom was part of that conversation, because she had said her husband had the tools and could help if needed. It wasn't long after that I found RBN and started to grow a backbone and stand up for myself, and emom decided that she needed to put her daughter in another troop because of "too much drama." But she's still friends with her!!! They hang out all the time still! Apparently me no backing down and letting Nco-leader bully, and walk all over me was too much for her to take. Nco-leader also told EVERYONE else in the troop that she was retiring from being co-leader EXCEPT me! Never said one word to me until our last meeting of the year when she handed me a bill and her troop debit card and said she's not coming back next year. Jokes on her because I already knew and had another mom already signed up as co-leader for this year. She thought that just because she never said anything to me, she was leaving me in the lurch, she never thought I was friends with anyone else and they might happen to mention it to me. ( not that I intended to have her as my co-leader for another year anyways!) It just flabbergasts me that the one person who saw her bully, berate, and be just down right awful, mean and nasty too couldn't stand it when I stopped taking it and cut ME out, and remained friends with her!

Sorry this turned into a HUGE rant! I didn't mean to jack the thread, but it felt good to get that off my chest.