I really believe that kink is inherent to some degree by now. During a frenzy, when I first found out about the BDSM community, I used anonymity of discord and Reddit to reach out and talk to a large variety of people out of curiosity. There’s an incredible array of kink and fetish coming from people who have otherwise had completely normal and healthy upbringings. So I really don’t know. What I do know is that intensely sexual behavior from children isn’t expected, unless some type of abuse is propagated or something had occurred. It’s normal for children to explore their bodies and get curious. But unless I can find evidence that says otherwise, I think something occurs in developmental years to accelerate an interest or exposure. For lack of better words.

Therapy is something I haven’t engaged in, in over a year now due to no health insurance and repeat run-ins with strictly military ptsd psychiatrists. I really wish you the best in finding a therapist who is right for you, and I’m sorry that you’ve endured this too. I think excellent points have been made on this post that we are not at fault.