When your daughter comes to you at this age and tells you that this exact scenario happened to her, what will you say to her when she says she thinks she’s been raped by her bf and doesn’t want to have sex with him any more? Are you going to tell her to get off her high horse and open that ass up for him again because he just misunderstood? I’d rather live my life on a high horse than treat people like a damned fool donkey’s ass.
I was raped starting age four. He would tell you there was no malicious intent in making love to me. Because it was a very special love. We played special games. He bought me special presents. Our “union” of bodies was ordained by God. Sounds like such a gift and a blessing in my life doesn’t he. What a kind and generous man. The full penetration and sodomy of my body resulted in terror. T e r r o r. My holes bled like a slaughtered pig. My body was always full of his cum. My panties forever stained with the mixture of his cum and my blood.
Did I miss something? Because I consider that rape. His intent was to live out his sexual fantasies with a child chosen by God most high to share a loving and wholesome relationship with. Pain was a necessary obstacle I needed to overcome. Because I had the problems with our joining of bodies. He did it with love, not malice. He didn’t do it to hurt me. Because he loved me more than anyone.
Pity I didn’t obey him better since there was no malice and it was all clearly a miscommunication, a misunderstanding, on my part. Had I just accepted his love I wouldn’t be a downvoted rape survivor on a reddit thread where a victim is saying she was raped but is being told it’s a misunderstanding.
You implore me to get off my big horse. I have been trampled and had all of me murdered by rapists on horses and snakes and their own two legs.
I implore you to seriously reflect on this situation OP has described. Define and redefine what rape/consent/BDSM mean to you. Substitute a female you love with all of yourself for OP. Reread it again. Is this an acceptable situation that can happen to your mom/sister/best friend. Is this an acceptable situation to happen to you? Statistically, the numbers of reported rapes is more epidemic than the opioid crisis. Statistically, you stand a very good chance of being raped or loving someone who has been raped in your lifetime.
The absence of maliciousness does not exclude a rape. He doesn’t have to say he wasn’t seeking power or control because his actions demonstrated that. Disregarding the safe word is removing any power and control a sexual partner has. He disregarded it. That creates a power imbalance. That creates fear. That creates terror. Only when she was crying and shaking did he stop. If he wasn’t doing anything wrong he could have just continued. The same way he did when she safe worded. Assuming you know what she wants can very well make you a rapist. Intent or not.
If you’ve never been raped, then you don’t have a personal frame of reference. Fair enough. But you are a human. Unless you have deeply rooted psychological and psychiatric issues, you are capable of empathy. So use it. If you are a rape survivor and this is your firm stance on this issue, then I wish you much more healing on your journey of life. Because you are worth so much more than anything like what this man has done to this woman.
If you absolutely think this is a simple miscommunication issue, I strongly encourage you to take the time to sort out how and why this is wrong. Because the person you feel it’s acceptable to do this to may press charges for rape. Simply being charged will fuck up your life. A conviction catches time within federal corrections. Unless you think Big Daddy is going to sit down with you to sort out anything miscommunicated, your asshole will never truly belong to you again.
I’ve really tried hard to explain this to you in a thousand ways for you to see that there are major issues and red flags in OP’s situation. The least of issues being miscommunication. So either you’re her bf defending yourself or you really couldn’t care less about rape or rape victims. Because you are not interested in anything beyond miscommunication. I don’t take rape lightly, nor do I immediately think that if a man looks at a woman that rape is the issue. The snapshot OP has shared here regarding what happened to her is rape. Wandering into BDSM type play ignorantly is not an excuse for what has happened here. The price paid for not understanding is high. People draft contracts. This guy just “didn’t understand” that a safe word actually means something. Not interested. Lived enough life with rapists to understand their crocodile tears when heat is applied. Lived enough life with real men to know that they fully understand no means no. Stop. Let’s talk. And that the use of a safe word means stop. Let’s talk. If that puts me on a high horse...don’t care much. Survived worse things in my life than your opinion and your words.
Peace out buddy.