Obligatory "not a taxi driver but..." story.

My boss is an Iranian man who came here in '78 to go to college. He worked his way through college as a taxi driver and a limo driver. He's told me two crazy stories that really stuck out.

One night he picked up a girl who was clearly drunk. She asked him to take her over an hour away, and he obliged as he needed the money. Along the way, she had him stop at a convenience store in a desolate area. While she was there, he saw her talking to two men outside of the store, as if they were friends. Now, at this time, my boss was pretty naive and young.

She gets back in the cab, they drive 5 minutes down the road when she asks him to pull into the parking lot of a closed down car dealership. He says no, and she puts a knife to his throat from the backseat. She instructs him to get out of the car and take off his clothes. She drove away with the cab, his wallet, and his dignity. Did I mention it was snowing? So, there he was in the middle of nowhere, in his underwear, in the snow. After a couple hours, he was able to wave down a police officer. They found the cab a couple weeks later, two states away.

Story number two is a little different. He was called to pick up a woman at a luxury hotel downtown. When he pulls up, he sees a gorgeous woman in a long evening gown, with a slit all the way up her thigh. She gets in, refuses to sit in the back. He tells her, "It's company policy." She says, "Screw company policy."

They're driving down the road, and my boss can't help but notice how beautiful this woman is. Particularly, her very large breasts. She asks him if he'd like to feel them. "It's against company policy." "Screw company policy." He obliges.

She moves his hand down to her thigh. He slowly moves his hand up the slit in her dress.

PENIS.

So that's how my boss got robbed by a redneck drunk girl, and touched a penis.