My girlfriend and I had just broken up, and one of her friends was really excited because she really wanted to have sex with me. She came up to me at school and said "What are you doing this afternoon?"

I said, "I dono, nothing?"

"You're fucking me, that's what."

So after school, I met her on this bike path that connected our two neighborhoods. We walked to her place (a good 30 minutes) and I honestly can't even remember what we talked about.

When we got to her house, it was eerily quiet. I asked if anyone was home and she said her mom was upstairs but nothing wakes her up. Probably alcoholic or some other addict, I never asked. We sat on her couch awkwardly for a bit, until one of us made the move to start making out. By the time she was naked, I still had on all my clothes.

I started eating her out, which was weird. It was only the second time I had ever seen a vagina up close, and this one was shaven! Smelled funky, too, but I assumed that was normal. After a few minutes of fumbling around with her private parts like a baboon with a jigsaw puzzle, I got up and started undressing. I was wearing bright blue boxers.

She made a comment about the birth control patch she had on her ass. Not trusting a birth control product that sits on your skin, I pulled an old condom out of my wallet (a mistake, but I didn't learn that lesson until my next sexperience) and tried to put it on. It took a couple tries but I got it. I said something like "why is there extra space at the top?" Stupid.

I remember her grabbing my dick and putting it inside her. For some reason, that is the most vivid memory I have of the experience (probably because it was my fap material for the next 3 years of dry spell). From there, I just kinda pumped until I finished, then rolled off of her.

It was a pretty awkward experience, but I'm glad I got the whole "first time" nervousness out of the way. The next time I had sex, 3 years later, it was amazing for both of us (different girl). Though that's when I learned not to trust wallet condoms...

tl;dr: Read it or don't. I don't care.