(NSFW) What have you found out about someone that you would never tell them you know?

Gonna need a throwaway for this one.

Well I could never tell him directly because he died 3 years back, but I never did reveal his secret to anyone and probably never will.

Oh boy. This is my first time EVER telling ANYONE this, even anonymously.

When I was 10 or 11, I was beginning puberty. I had remembered my friends at school talking about how they had found their dad's porn stash, and that every dad had one. That it was completely normal and all that.

So naturally, being a curious and hormonal boy, I decided to do some snooping in my dad's room while my parents were out.

I ended up finding a leather pouch of CD-ROMs in my dad's underwear drawer.

My hands were trembling, I was about to see naked ladies for the first time. A pin dropping could have made me jump.

I pop in the CD in my PC, open up the contents and...

It was fucking child porn.

Yep. That's right. My first ever time seeing a girl naked was through child porn. It was all non-hardcore stuff, and only girls, but still.

Oddly enough, I didn't find it overly weird at the time. I'd never heard of "child porn" and how terrible it was. In fact, I hadn't given it a second thought until years later. To me it was just like... "oh, little girls naked and smiling in a forest". At the time, I just thought it was normal.

I never really found it attractive, though. Prepubescent girls just didn't... "do anything" for me. The "real" porn on the other CDs did, however.

Why I never told anyone? Well, a combination of reasons, really. As I mentioned, it was all little girl stuff (I was a boy, and he never abused me in any way), and I don't think I've seen my dad even interact with a little girl my entire life (I was an only child, not many relatives, etc.), so I sincerely doubt he molested anyone throughout his life.

And well... he was my dad. I'm sure I'll get some comments saying that I should have told someone at some point but... I mean, easier said than done. He was my dad. He was a relatively good one too. What good was going to come of it? Break up the family, have my dad resent me and potentially lose my inheritance?

It was a big secret, to be sure, but I don't think he was a monster. He was a good man... but even good men have their demons.

To those wondering, after he died, I found no such pouch, and reformatted his computer before giving it to my uncle. Hopefully letting sleeping dogs lie was the right choice.

/r/AskReddit Thread