Realizing that I was sexually assaulted at 6 years old.

Boy in my class stuck his hands down my pants while we were sitting on the gym floor listening to the teacher give us instructions. He started grabbing me and squeezing me in inappropriate ways/places and whispering dirty things in my ear. I don't know if my classmates saw it or not but I was too scared to say anything because I didn't want to get in trouble for interrupting the teacher. It went on for about 10 minutes and I just froze. I told my mom that night and she wrote a note in my agenda for my teacher to see. He got a talking to and that was it. Because he was 6 they chalked it up to him just being a curious boy and him "having a crush on me".

He gave me photos of himself blown up like 3 times their normal size that he printed off (clearly with the help of a parent). I put them in my closet not knowing what to do with them. It wasn't until I was about 12 and cleaning out my closet that I found those photos. I showed my mom and she started to cry. She said she felt so bad that I was sexually assaulted and she didn't do more about it. It was only then that I realized how fucked up it was. I had this image of sexual assault only being able to be committed by an adult for so long.

At 15 I realized we were now going to high school together. After I realized who he was I couldn't look him in the eye. I heard about him being creepy to girls at parties and I just wanted to throw up every time. I feel like if my mom or I had made a bigger deal about it at the time then he might have gotten in more shit and been watched more closely as he grew. Idk I kind of blame myself in a way for not screaming when he touched me. I honestly thought the teacher would get mad at me for interrupting her.

I realize it's not as screwed up as some of the things on here but thinking about it years later I realize that was the day that I started to feel like my body wasn't mine and someone else could touch it and I couldn't say no.