[NSFW] What's an experience you've tried really hard to forget?

When I was in early middle school, my mom had started dating and she and this guy were getting serious. He started coming over more and I was obviously his favorite of my two siblings...because I was a girl. He said he always wanted a daughter, but only had sons. He and I got close and spent a lot of time together. Then I realized he was touchy, it started out really slow so I never really knew it wasn't normal. Eventually he started giving me rubs; foot rubs, back rubs, leg rubs etc. It wasn't really problematic at first, it was done appropriately and we had a close relationship. Then his hands started wandering during the rubs; he would graze my boobs while giving me a back rub, his hands started getting to close to my lady parts while he was rubbing my thighs, leg rubs progressed to butt rubs. Then one day it wasn't just subtle grazes anymore. Basically, these rubs eventually turned into what most adults could consider foreplay. This lasted over the course of a couple of years and I felt disgusted with myself for not stopping it. At that point I knew if I said something I would cause issues with my family and I felt like it was my fault for not stopping what had become so blatantly inappropriate. The final straw was when I was maybe 14 or 15 and he was giving me a back rub. It was mostly normal to begin with, then my mom went upstairs to go to bed. As soon as she left, he got more aggressive. He flipped me over, straddled me, put his hand down my pants and started rubbing me under my underwear. I didn't even know what to do. Thankfully, my mom got out of bed around that time and caused the floors to creak. He immediately got off me and I went upstairs to my room and was terrified he would come in. Thankfully he didn't, he went to bed with my mom and I heard them having sex right after.

Nothing happened after that. He never raped me and after that night I started giving him the cold shoulder and refused to be around him if I could help it. My mom didn't know what was going on at the time, so she was furious at me for being a brat by refusing to engage with him. He would make passive aggressive comments to make himself look like the victim of my moody attitude. I should have told someone what was going on sooner. It was especially hard because I couldn't get away from it; he was living there at that point, my dad wouldn't let me live with him and there was no way my mom would allow me to live with a friend, especially when she didn't know why I actually wanted to move.

They have since broken up and the matter has been handled. I hate thinking about it though. Part of me feels gross and responsible because I was old enough to know better, but this also came on very slowly starting when I was maybe 12, give or take a year. I tried to justify it by telling myself "at least he didn't rape you, many people have it worse," but now that I'm an adult, it disgusts me to think that someone would even want to do that.

/r/AskReddit Thread