This is quite possibly the most fascinating comment i've ever read during my many years here on Reddit. You're a very interesting and, in my mind, most evolved person. Not only are you a person who seem to have found a very efficient way to live despite being enlightened about yourself as a person and as a species (being of no real importance at all), but you're also very good at presenting your thought-process in a very eloquent yet humbling way. Are you per chance a teacher or author? Or perhaps a super hero? Do you partake in any philosophical discussion here on Reddit on a regular basis? I may want to follow you, if that's even a feature here. I still feel like a rookie. I'm always looking to learn.
In any case, you're essentially saying that the state of happiness is, because of this lack of actual purpose, and despite being nothing but a primitive chemical reaction, in fact the only thing that truly matters. That because nothing we do will ever truly matter, the most honorable thing we can do is to partake in playing a role in this man-made game of life that has the largest positive effect on ourselves and others. Mirawenya was stating something similar above, though you with a bit more refinement.
That is a very beautiful way of life. One that i certainly can't say that i disagree with. But I'm not sure if that's enough to make me able to stick with it even if i tried. I have had much invested interest in doing good things for others until very recently, when i realized that this act was draining me more than it was giving me anything in return and thus wasn't sustainable. As i have basically nothing that actually gives me joy in life, i guess this forced change of lifestyle isn't very surprising. You can't keep giving all your love away each day when you get nothing in return.
My problem has always been that other part; to care enough about myself to make me sustainable. And as per the reply i made above that begins "I have actually tried many different paths in life." you can see that i have actually been quite active in trying to get a taste of the good life via hard work, without any true fruition to come of it in the perspective of making myself happy. I guess this is in fact a big part of why I'm beginning to lose hope. The years are going by, and here i sit feeling like I'm ready to retire at age 29 as I'm already all worked out. I've done my share of effort for others. And certainly for my success-status, albeit being of no practical value whatsoever. I can't very much call myself successful if I'm the picture of hopelessness, can i? Some contrastful irony there. And if i did in fact have kids I'd probably be considering myself an unsuccessful father regardless of how hard i tried to be the contrary, for that matter.
May i ask some more of you? When did this understanding of the lack of purpose come into your life, and how long did it take for you to learn to fully accept it and find happiness regardless? Was it ever something that bothered you or was it just a small thing with you that you easily could move on with? If you did struggle for a while, what was it that made you able to move on? Was life simply good enough in general for you to feel like worrying? I so rarely come across people with whom i can share this brutally honest view of life with without having eye-brows raised so high they touch the ceiling, so i feel like i should use this opportunity to see what i can learn from someone who clearly has got it right.
Anyway, the last thing I'd want to do is to take up more time of such a distinguished person. I imagine you've got a cape to put on right about now. So please don't sweat it and don't feel guilty over leaving now. I have much to be grateful for with people like you taking the time out to help someone like me.