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I was on a wrap up event after a work project was finished to a theme park in the height of summer and was wearing skinny jeans. I got very dizzy on one particular ride and needed to tie my shoe lace. To keep my balance I spaced my legs apart and then attempted to bend down on one knee to tie my shoes, suddenly there was a deafening ripping sound as my jeans from front to back split open in perhaps the worse spot possible. There was a moment of silence afterwards that felt like an eternity, I knew I was in trouble.

My coworkers immediately knew what had happened and reacted as any person would witnessing such a turn of events, they laughed. I grabbed a jumper out of my bag and attempted to make a belt to hide my shame, but knowing I had a evening reception of food and drinks at a venue attended by everyone at my company later in the day this wasn't going to be a permanent solution. After they collected themselves and realised the severity of the situation at hand my coworkers in my time of need rallied together and helped me. They went to the themepark's merchandise store to see if they had any shorts or trousers, what they returned with was apparently the best they could do. Rainbow leggings designed for teenage girls. As a 6ft guy in my early 20's this wasn't going to cut it, in many ways the shame of showing my underwear to the world somehow wouldn't be as bad as drawing more attention to myself with bright coloured skin tight leggings that would have probably split anyway.

Plan B. Go to lost and found. We were getting desperate; I mean who loses their trousers at a themepark?.. Well as it turns out employees do. I talk to the woman behind the counter, who is relatively unphased by what she's seeing. Maybe this happens more often than I think. She asks for my size, I tell her a 36r and she comes back with a beaming smile and 2 oily worn down pairs of workman trousers. Relief, maybe this hell will be over and I can go back to enjoying my day even if I am a little worse for wear and slightly traumatised. 'I have 2 waist sizes, a 32 and a 42' it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out neither of these options are ideal for me. I slip away to the toilets and first try getting into the 32's but well, it's never going to happen. Despite my best efforts it's like trying to squeeze Mount Fuji through the Strait of Gibraltar. I then try on the 2nd pair and well as you can imagine with trousers 6 inches too looser it's like I'm cosplaying as a clown. That said it's better than any other option and with the help of some rope to make a belt and despite looking ridiculous I manage to get them to stay up.

I return to the waiting area of the lost and found office where 2 coworkers are huddled around a phone smiling. Initially thinking they're laughing at my new outfit I realise they're not laughing at what's in front of them but rather what's on the phone's screen... A photo of me red faced like a tomato in the immediate aftermath of my trouser disaster. A photo which one of them had taken without me realising and proceeded to distribute company-wide in the 30 minutes this saga has been unfolding. We continue with the day, with me occasionally having to readjust and tighten the makeshift pair of trousers and an ever lingering paranoia that they could fall down at any second.

You can imagine how the evening reception in the venue goes, over the course of the night people company-wide some who I'm not even familiar with come over and ask me about my day, already away of how traumatic it's been. I resort to minimising how often I have to leave my seat and anxiously await the first shuttle bus home. That was over 2 years ago now, it still comes up on a monthly basis. I'm generally an awkward person anyway but this is definitely the worst I've ever embarrassed myself.