AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. HERE'S TO YOU, JASON.
Does NOT shut up for more than 28 seconds at a time (I've counted). Has a constant running commentary whether it's his internal monologue, narrating what he is typing, or commentary before/during/after his phone calls.
Never minds his own business. If someone else is having a conversation within his earshot, he will immediately ask about it once the other party leaves. If his questions are answered with grunts or shrugs, he will keep asking.
Refuses to learn how to use excel or google issues even though 90% of his job is using it. YOU'VE WORKED HERE FOR OVER A YEAR. YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO USE THIS PROGRAM.
Constantly eats the nastiest smelling food and brings it to his cubicle rather than eating in the lunch room like you are supposed to.
Has waited for me to arrive to work and conveniently take a smoke break or fetch something from his car so he has an excuse to talk to me at least 3 times a week.
Has been reported by other coworkers for looking inside my car windows.
Constantly talks about how he has no money or is poor yet buys lunch every single day at $10 - 15/day.
Asked how old a coworker was (23), then immediately proceeded to tell her how that was the last age as his last girlfriend (he's in his late 40s/early 50s and looks like a modern version of Peter Pettigrew).
Every time he goes to a Korean food or massage place, will proceed to tell us how he should have married a young Korean girl while he had the chance.
Brings up my name in about every conversation he has with his boss whether it is singing undue praises or blaming me for something out of my control.
Has a voice that sounds like a used car salesman always trying to sell or prove his point regardless of the topic of conversation.
I hate this man.