I left TFA excited with questions. Now I'm just like "oh."

If purple-haired lady had told Poe his plan, we wouldn't have to facetime Maz as she talked about fucking a wookie, which led to Finn and Ching Chong somehow escaping the pursued ship, only to find a DIFFERENT codebreaker. Because they parked in the wrong spot.

Then some dude puts some coins in BB8, which he launches at a guard to escape. Luckily they find some fucking alien camel horses to ride and climb up a wall, barely not falling off a cliff. LUCKILY THEY'RE MIRACULOUSLY SAVED AGAIN WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED by BB8 and the stuttering thief.

We have Leia floating in fucking space, porgs yelling "BUY ME FOR CHRISTMAS" and to top it off the big villain of the entire trilogy Snoke, is dead by POKE.

Finn is about to independence day the new order but luckily CHING CHONG is back to STOP HIM. She says something along the lines of saving the ones you love, while the empire literally blasts a hole in the door, killing the ones they love.

You'll notice i said luckily every time. BECAUSE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS MOVIE IS JUST LUCK. OH GOOD BB8 IS PILOTING AN AT AT JUST IN TIME. Fuck me I need a drink