I had a friend years ago who was interested in me romantically, and it reached a strange level of almost obsession. There was a lot of significance placed on my role in their life, and I carried the weight of it with difficulty. For a while it was a good friendship; we genuinely cared about each other and got on really well. When the non-reciprocated feelings just got stronger it was harder to stop it affecting our friendship. Things got stressful. I didn't handle them well, we were both emotionally immature and dealing with other difficult things but I could have been a far better friend through it all. They wanted things I was adamant I couldn't give and I let my teenage angst affect how I handled it all. A few times I tried to change the way things worked, asking them not to tell me about how they felt, how me not liking them back upset them, and tried to distance myself using unfair and somewhat harsh tactics. I took for granted the fact that they would always (or so I thought) be there regardless of how shitty I'd been.

Eventually, we had a fight and I decided to end the friendship. I realised I was doing more harm than good by trying to keep it alive, and thought maybe it was better for us to part rather than drag on all the frustration. So, I ended it. Rather ungracefully, I unfortunately have to add.

I feel a lot of guilt to this day, and occasionally check up on their social media to see if they're okay (from what I can tell). In the long term, I don't really regret ending it, but I do regret how I did it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I think they're doing fine, and it taught me a lot about the impact of my actions and how healthy relationships work. I just wish I could have figured it out before it all went wrong.