Oh back sliding...and I thought I was doing good.. But it is a roller coaster..

Same exact boat as you. I would say we had the best year of our lives together. I felt like we had issues, so I worked on loving myself and making myself strong, at the same time focusing the majority of my energy on the relationship, and I really thought as a result our relationship was the best it ever had been. Week before christmas I got home and she told me she was leaving me for another man and told me how terrible I was. She brought up every complaint she ever had. She told me we weren't sexually compatible and really just tried to destroy my ego.

Shortly after that she said she made a mistake, but couldn't come back home. I remained supportive in giving her space to consider her own future and our future. Her and her new boyfriend took the winter cabin vacation we had been planning since the summer and which I paid for to add salt to my already fresh wounds.

She's taken advantage of that space. She's telling everyone I kicked her out and won't let her back to get her stuff (she comes by at least once a week to pick up more clothes and anything she wants.) She contacts me when she needs something and won't respond to any communication I try to have with her. When I do see her she likes to tell me how happy she is now and how happy she is to be out of our shitty relationship and how there was nothing good there. I tried to tell her I need space and tried to go no-contact, but it was then she told me that I was pushing her out of my life and how just that day she was thinking about coming back. She really is just trying to fuck with me.

Its heartbreaking. Its pure insanity. I really cared for this person and accepted them for who they were. I was there for them despite their own issues and we had made a wonderful life together with very few issues.

I was definitely, and perhaps still am, dealing with PTSD, and was having a hard time. It helped me a lot to tell my friends and family. I didn't go into detail with them, but just telling them that I am getting a divorce and having a hard time of it kind of relieved some of stress. Things aren't easier and I think she is going to be worse. She's tried to commit suicide in the past and I know she is financially broke, so I am just waiting for that call.

/r/Divorce Thread