I've had it actually happen, though. On one occasion someone stole my phone without me noticing, and proceeded to 'like' every picture posted by one of our bartenders. She knew us well enough that she believed what had happened, at least. Could have been worse.

On another occasion, this happened:

"Me": (finger) can i crash @ yur place?
i have only one ball
^it's true

Friend: one testicle?

"Me": maybe
one really big one

Friend: how do I know this is actually <me>? sounds like <other friend>

"Me": it sure as fuck isnt <fucktwat on my fb> youd k now if it were
you could just come to <bar> and check

Friend: what's the scene like there?

"Me": shitty
i mean, nothing but hotties
and a couple tranny's
maybe
not sure
...yet

Friend: I wanna know if I'm talking to <other friend> or <me>
or <fucktwat on my fb>

"Me": <me>
srsly

Friend: do you really need a place to crash?

"Me": <fucktwat on my fb> likes balls
lits the granular texture that draws me in

Friend: some more granular than others
on account of genetics

"Me": very true... its hwat makes the diff from real men and <me> i mean me

"Me": cat got your tongue?

Friend: I'm waiting for <friend> to come by to drop something off

"Me": mdma?

Friend: I'm gonna stick it in my ass

"Me": can i watch?

Friend: you mean for free?

"Me": is that your GF in the pic??

Friend: niece

"Me": thats sick

"Me": got any pics of her "O" face? or duck lips...

Friend: hey that's my fucking baby niece

"Me": your ugly warthog dick sucking neighbor is here
like always

Friend: <neighbor>'s a sweetheart
there's nothing wrong with sucking dicks

"Me": lmao
actually her friend is kinda hot

Friend: she does have hot friends

"Me": or its beer gogles ... we'll see tomorrow
<friend>'s on tv

Friend: what chanell?

"Me": over now

I didn't realize until a couple of days later that the convo had happened.