I think the problem is perspective, honestly. A lot of people who are depressed or self-loathing get a more sympathetic reaction, but calling yourself an involuntary celibate and reducing the part you play in that to being ugly isn't going to go over as well. Mostly because everyone in the damn world personally knows guys who are ugly or broke or both who have girlfriends because they are likeable, funny, whatever. There are plenty of women who judge on appearance and other superficial standards, and they're exactly the kind of people who'd make someone as insecure as incels are want to kill themselves. Like what the fuck are you aspiring to?

It's frustrating for almost anyone who doesnt identify as an incel because it's picking up the one thing you can't really change about yourself (ugly) and making it the only thing that matters to avoid ever improving and as an excuse to stew in misery instead of evaluating your actual flaws honestly, starting with the need to bask in self pity. It's maybe doubly frustrating for people who have been there and know damn well that if a million uglier people are having sex, the problem is not how you look. There's no way to possibly explain this that anyone on that sub will actually hear and it's maddening.