Can we discuss this? I think there are always reasons, and sometimes there are reasons that mitigate the choice to cheat.

I think the "reasons" people cheat, are different from them being an "excuse" to cheat. Like, I don't think it's necessarily excusable, but looking at the reasons we can understand why or how it led to that. And this is why I am not upset at her. She did what she had to do to restore her self-esteem. I find it difficult to jump on the "get rid of the cheater!" bandwagon when I am the one who played a part in her desire to seek out validation elsewhere.

Too important. I can't really ignore how much that story is needed.

I posted the story to one of the other commenters on here. Basically, she was always raging at me for small things. It would get violent, and she'd verbally abuse me. She didn't know what was wrong with her, nor did I. She ended up getting diagnosed with PTSD. We've sat in therapy sessions together as well. Basically the whole relationship was like a catch-22... She'd rage at me and I'd shut down and emotionally remove myself which included no sexual affection.. which would in turn cause her to feel worthless..and more prone to raging. Rinse and repeat. I don't by any means think no sex is ok, but the general consensus of the therapist is that those rage-attacks she gets are sabotaging to any relationship and I was merely reacting to them. In hindsight, we should have broken up way earlier on and got her treatment. I feel bad about that. It was hard to see clearly.