Is it OK to want a provider?

Why are you worried about his ambitions and wanting him to lack them if he is a provider?

You will get bad reactions and fine reactions but the reality is you can want whatever you want and it’s important for you to say that and ask about the practicality like you did imo. My question is first if your wants interfere too much. You want a provider but you suggest that is against him having his own life, why? If he was successful enough to have a good income for his family, what if he spent 10 hours a week actually working for that because he has a profitable website or something? Would you care, and what is the appropriate time management that you want him to spend with your family? I think that basing this off whether his priorities are that of a provider is misleading.

The premise of the way you think is fine in that you want a provider in my opinion, but is fundamentally built on a social, occupational, and time-management implication and not a provision one which is asking for trouble unless you can more clearly understand and communicate. More time to spend with family may be the end all best thing, but my question is would you have a problem if he made his money from running a website and spent 40 hours a week reading books? What do you consider “work” and what do you consider healthy for his progress when he is managing his own business and making his own choices and you are faced with time to ask these questions about?

Ultimately if you care about him lacking ambition after he is a provider spending time with you, you are focusing on things that set a bad precedent, plus wanting everything to be bought for you is also technology fine but without limit or rational comprehension of this man as a functioning human you are setting yourself up to have no bounds of demands. If you are to ever communicate and understand what’s good for one another, you’re going to need to make more of an effort or be happier for what you are given

/r/TooAfraidToAsk Thread