It’s definitely not okay for him to begin acting like that with no prior conversation/establishing rules, boundaries and negotiations. 100% no.

From a submissive standpoint, it is also 100% your responsibility to use your safe word and lay your boundaries whether you are in a scene or not, sometimes we have to make them aware of what’s going on and what we need/can’t do. What he did isn’t okay by any means, but there was a severe lack of communication on both parties.

Experienced Dom-types should know about negotiations, but as submissives—-WE choose to give over the power and our will and take whats laid out before us. It’s a Master’s/Dom-type of any kind’s responsibility to take care of us, but we must relay how and when. From his response, it sounds like he may just have been pushing you to see what you could take towards the end, and neither of you liked it.

Communication is the #1 step before anything happens with a potential partner.