TL:DR: If this sounds harsh, just take this an example of how an RP-aware, high-SMV male thinks.
The ladies on this board do a great job of handing down advice, and really explaining the RPW way of navigating through this types of situations. However, there is one subject on which, despite all their knowledge and dedication to traditional femininity, even the most fervent RPW could never out shine an RP-aware man. That's the subject of the female hamster. We are confronted by this tireless little rodent every single day. We have to study and learn the ways of the hamster, for if we are to get our masculine needs met, we must learn precisely when to ignore it, when to crush it, and when to appease it properly.
From reading your post and some of your comments, I can tell that your little guy is gearing up for a marathon in there, and no matter you say on this thread, that wheel is already in motion, and I believe you're going to hook-up with this dude and become his plate.
I guess I was wondering if I could just try a different approach and take on the challenge (again, nothing to lose)... I guess this is what I'm grappling with. Give up on him before anything has really started? Or maybe give it a shot, in some way I hadn't considered (perhaps a suggestion from RPW)?
You haven't even slept with this dude yet, and that's already some pretty rich hamstering. "Take on the challenge..?!??" No, sweetie. Engaging an attractive alpha in the prime of his SMV years in a sexual relationship without commitment is not a challenge at all for a reasonably attractive woman. That's the easy part for your gender. You know what would be a challenge? Delaying the instant gratification of sleeping with someone early in the relationship, holding out for exclusivity before surrendering the fruit of your loins, and getting a quality guy to commit. There's a fun challenge for you.
And btw, you have a lot to lose. Time is not on your side at 30 years old if you want to find a quality husband, and especially not if you want to start a family. Your prime SMV years are behind you, and you need to make hay while the sun is still shinning.
You could prove me wrong, but I see every indication that you're just not inclined to turn this guy down. You're 30 years old and still single. This means you're either A) a career women, B) an avid CC-rider who spent her 20's partying, or C) a combo of the two. Regardless of which category you fall into, your N-count is likely to be pretty high. What's my reasoning behind that statement? Well, you're 30, so you've been sexually available for 12 years, and you're reasonably attractive. The simple odds are that you've encountered a number of alphas over the years that have been sexually interested in you, and if you're very attractive, or work in an industry in which you're exposed to many high-T alpha males, you may have been encountered a significant number of alphas, which means your N-count could be even higher. It's conservative to say that you've slept with 10-15 guys. Also, you mention that you're into BDSM, which means you've had at least enough sexual partners to figure out your kinks.
Add it all up: Your hamster is already priming the pump, getting the rationale ready for you to engage in an NSA relationship with this guy. It's likely that you come from a sexually promiscuous past. That pattern is unlikely to suddenly change. What's one more notch on your count? Lastly, this dude of yours is attractive, socially apt, seems to have smooth game, in the prime of his SMV, and he's already opened up a sexual frame with you. Even if you do genuinely make an effort to halt his sexual advances, I predict he'll have the necessary tools to disarm, and I just don't see you giving him anything more than token LMR anyway.
It doesn't matter what you say to a bunch of anonymous strangers online, you're going to bang this guy.