On having it worse

I always feel like a jerk because you have such good posts/comments and then I think I should reply to them and then I either do so like two weeks after the fact because I want to mull them over, or I just don't post at all because I don't believe I can respond at the same calibre of your initial comments/posts. This is my very delayed response to a very interesting post :).

If it's true that we can't say who has it worse, perhaps that's a noteworthy point in itself. Can we not say that any group is more affected by discrimination than any other? I'd have thought most feminists would say that (eg) black/trans/disabled/poor people face more discrimination, worse treatment by society overall, than white/cis/able-bodied/rich people. So I'm curious if the feminists here think that it's impossible to compare these groups too, or if you see women's oppression as unique in that this is the only oppression where the comparison is difficult? If the latter, I wonder what theoretical implications that has.

One thing I tend to dislike about certain critiques on either side is the comparison between men/women (typically depending on whether or not you're a MRA or feminist) and black people. For example, sometimes people will compare men's treatment to the historical treatment of black people when it comes to discussions of women-only gyms ("Would we allow a whites-only gym?"). The reason I don't think this is particularly useful is because I think most people would agree that historically, a whites-only gym (or restaurant or whatever) would be indicative of white people believing they are superior to black people and not wanting to mingle with the plebs. In contrast, I think men and women have historically been seen (largely) as complements to each other.

Changing tack now, let's imagine that some feminists do believe women fare worse overall but don't base their arguments on this belief. It's definitely possible I'm being unfair and paranoid here, but this still concerns me a little: how do we, or the hypothetical feminists in question, know that this seemingly relevant and strongly held belief doesn't subtly influence their actions?

Are you only concerned about feminists thinking this?

Imho we see the same on gender issues, with too little attention devoted to men's issues. I'm mindful of (eg) the Larry Summers incident, also topical on here atm, as an example of what happens when this concern is taken too far and thoughts become crimes or reasons in themselves to criticise someone, regardless of that person's actions. I simply say that we perhaps shouldn't completely ignore thoughts/beliefs either. And of course I'd have to extend this to MRAs and myself too. Maybe the most important issue I wanted to raise for the rest of this post, though, concerns what I see as the exploitation and reinforcement of this common belief that women are overwhelmingly more affected by gender issues than men. Whether or not any particular feminist means women have it significantly or overwhelmingly worse than men when he says "women are oppressed," it surely sounds to any ordinary person as if he's saying that. When I used to post on feminist subs, I'd ask what they meant and I got answers like

As an aside, I was actually thinking of making a post with another user in this sub in response to the recent "Men have it worse in the media" post, and you've touched on a few of the points we wanted to talk about. If I bugged you for some help, would you be willing to maybe work on the post with us? I like collaborative posts :)

merry festivities, /u/sens2t2vethug

/r/FeMRADebates Thread