We glamorize war, but war is something entirely cruel, personal, and beyond the control of an individual person.

How do you process the bodies of your friends and fellow troops being blown open like magic. Endless roars of gun fire, bomb explosions, and screams.

You want nothing more than to go back, but to go back is only to ensure your own death. So you run into the horror storm, your brain is screaming at you to run, but you're running into the storm. Your brain cant handle that.

By the time the horror is over, your brain has been soaking in extreme fear and training itself to expect threats and dangers at any moment. We call it PTSD now and people can get some help, but nothing can ever make the experience go away. Even if they forget it memory wise, there's no going back.