Once a cheater, always a cheater?

*No. Not at all. *

First, I don’t think permanently branding someone for life is ever acceptable. It’s crazy to me that of all things, cheating seems to be something that people deem unforgivable. I mean, think about it. People that commit serious crimes are given second chances, but we just write off people that cheat as unloveable...for life? That’s nuts.

Second, it is VERY possible for people to learn from mistakes and not repeat them. I don’t know why society accepts the crazy idea that cheating is the only exception to that rule.

Third, the reason I feel so strongly about this is that I cheated. It destroyed my life. I have recovered, but it is by far the biggest mistake I have ever made. I cannot express how horrible I still feel about it over a decade later. There is NO WAY I would do it again. No way...no seriously. No. Way. That emotional affair that you talked about is the red flag that I’ll never miss again. It’s not just red. It has flashing lights, fireworks coming out of it, and a siren attached. I’ve remarried and while it hasn’t come up, the split second I feel like there is the tiniest inappropriate emotional connection with someone else, they may be able to actually see me building a wall in front of them. No thank you. Not today. Not ever. If anything I know better than someone else how to prevent it from happening again.

So the “once a cheater, always a cheater” rule is a big fat illogical lie. It’s total and complete bullshit. This man doesn’t deserve to live the rest of his life alone because of one mistake.

/r/AskMenOver30 Thread