Awww, yeah.....that is really a tough one when it's mom. My mom was also very toxic and dealing with her death was incredibly complicated.

I went to therapy and the therapist happened to have a narcissist mother. Well, as it turns out my mom was, too (but a covert narc and not the usual type).

The therapist said that it isn't unusual for grieving to take place over the period of many years when it comes to these toxic relationships. She called it "complicated grieving".

I imagine that when we have a living mother we need to cut loose it's even tougher. I didn't go no contact with my mom while she was alive, but I went to only seeing her twice a year. This was made easier by living many hours away !

Hang in there and try and allow the knowledge that we are not our family and we are not our childhoods.......we are our won individual selves. And we can make any changes in our lives that we see fit. And this is true no matter where on our paths we happen to be :-)

This sub would still be a great place with or without me. It wasn't;t as busy here 2 or 3 years ago......but it sure saved my ass back then.