Very relatable.

For many years the thing I wanted most was a “normal” loving mom, and she would CONSTANTLY guilt trip me by saying she wishes we had a better relationship, even when our relationship was stable.

I now know that she did want a relationship with me, but only if I was EXACTLY what she wanted me to be, and not genuinely myself.

And of course how she wanted me to act changed at the drop of a hat. In high school she wanted me to drink with her and her friends, but I wasn’t allowed to go to parties. I was supposed to be sweet and welcoming to all her boyfriends, but I wasn’t allowed to date. She wanted me to dress trendy and attractive, but I wasn’t allowed to buy my own clothes.