I see a photo like this and I wonder what the back story is. Truly. Maybe this guy is a thief who stole those game consoles in a strong arm robbery. Perhaps with that pistol as the weapon of choice. Or perhaps he used one of the giant rubber cocks to subdue the Circuit City delivery driver just long enough to make a clean getaway with his electronic booty. I can almost picture it.... He stages next to a dumpster behind the Circuit City, patiently awaiting the delivery truck to depart from the ultra-secure loading dock. It's cold out so he brought a nice thermos full of Peets coffee, half caff as too much caffeine gives him the jitters and jitters are no friend when one is committing a felony. He needs to stay calm. A few hours go by and he's almost made by a homeless guy slowly pushing a shopping cart past him. The homeless man stops and gazes upon him, crouched behind a dumpster, wearing a mask, sipping coffee, and clenching an 18 inch dildo as if it were a mace.

The moment arrives as the delivery truck pulls away from the loading dock slowly. The man closes his eyes tightly and says to himself "you got this" before refreshing his grip in the rubber cock. Before the truck can gain any more speed he leaps from behind the dumpster and screams at the top of his lungs "VALHALLA" landing on the hood of the truck. Swinging the dildo wildly he manages to smash the windshield and enter the cab of the truck where a terrified driver named Horatio freezes with a mixture of confusion and fear. Before Horatio can even breath the man smashed the John Holmes Home-Wrecker dildo down upon him repeatedly. What was once a face turns quickly into a pink mush under the weight of the giant dildo, and as Horatio breathes his final breath one can almost hear him whimper "why?" With the driver subdued (see dead) the man climbs behind the wheel of the truck and drives calmly to his lair down near the rubber factory, laughing maniacally the entire way. Soon, he grows tired of laughing maniacally and turns on the FM radio where he's delighted to discover that a local radio station is playing a Ram Jam retrospective. He settles in for the remainder of the 45 minute drive with "Black Betty" blaring from the tinny industrial truck speakers and smiles a wry smile. The Rubber Cock Bandit has struck again.